"If you work harder, you will get luckier" per Anita Sarawak dictum.

i am just so sloth. i have a long list of tasks to accomplish by this month end, and yet i start to do nothing but daydreaming. i am more or less like a walking zombie without soul. everyday life is so mechanical, it start from the origin and end at the origin, it is a circle of everyday life. there is nothing exciting to intervene the flow and stimulate the excitement of life.

i think i have somehow accelerate or catalysis myself to evolve to a swine. my brain is no longer in activation mode, i used to read up some rubbish news, chatting with some worthless creature on earth, commenting crudely on some issues and so on, but seems like i have stop to do so for quite some time ago.

i am still figuring out what is actually deterring me from switching myself to the "off" state. the metier is getting dullness and it grows by day. maybe i am just overloaded, and according to my friend, i overstress myself too much. maybe it is true. normally i can handle the stress quite well, i mean all this time, but all of the sudden, the world seems to longer work that way. everything i expect and long for turn up to be in reciprocal.

my memory power is declining each day, i am getting oblivious. maybe it is the sign that i am getting older, as dictated by someone. i never get offended by my age, but amnesia. thank God, i still manage to keep in mind the tasks that i wish to accomplish, but for others, sorry to say, i don't really deep rooted in my mind. i have successfully practice forgive and forget principle.

someone highlighted to me that i was using a plain and simple English for my previous blog. for me, i will take it as a compliment, because finally someone can read up the whole blog and give the feedback to me. all the while i am using the very plain language, as not to forget to insert some rare vocab, i have no intention to promoting the vocabulary, but as we all known, language need to be practiced, if i never use it, i will tends to forget it. the best way for me recall back the words that i learned before is by using them in the writing. i found it practically useful to recall the words.

lately everything is in mess. all the tasks floodgate at one time. i wish to be amoeba to split myself in order to handle all the tasks at one time. as i compare myself to others, i feel ashamed on myself. people are working and studying at the same time just as me, but still they are manage to complete all the tasks. me? complete nothing at one time. i am so useless.

exam is just around the corner, and i am still let the slothfulness conquer over me. i am so sluggish and inattentive. i am so loath with this kind of attitude. lassitude is a disease, i need to cure it before it gradually turn into cancer. God, give the strength to against this devil's curse.