"If you work harder, you will get luckier" per Anita Sarawak dictum.

i hope you will get over it very soon, its okay to get hurt, only after that you will become stronger. history meant to learn, future means to earn. you must learn to earn, no pain no gain, my dear student.

this is real life. your ideal not always perfect, ideal case never happen, you learn it in theory and practical. love is blind. i failed my previous love affair before, so i learn my lesson well. only when you been through a deep throat cut life taking moment, then only after you will learn that there is always something ahead better than this. he/she (hereinafter known as he), he might be ideal on today, but not for tomorrow.

i know the feeling. i hurt even much more deeper than you. it is okay to express it to anyone close to you, anyone you trusted will not betray you, or treason. always look forward, if he cause so much misery to you, and putting you living in hell, then why not take a leave and calm yourself? let your mind free, take a meditation, or whatever method that can make your mind clear. listen to your heart. you want to listen to your mind or soul? what you want? last time i chosen to listen to my heart and soul, but now i will only listen to my mind. my mental faculty of reasoning, understanding and memory will lead me to the way i shall head.

when you get older, you get wiser, or alternatively you learn through experience. 70% blindness + 30% rational. spare some parts in your mind to run the logical calculation. he might be ideal for the moment, but may be not for entire life. love and hurt are proportionate to each other. if you don't love, you will never get hurt. even if you heal, the scar is still there. but all this is okay, let the scar be a reminder to you, so in future you will remind yourself not to repeat the same mistake again.

love should be equivocal, love should be unqualified and mirror. if i were to give 100%, i want 100% in return as well. love is a bargain for me, each party should have the balance and equivalent bargaining power. the weighing scale should remain balance. i no longer believing "i will love you more", this is only talk to cheat the young chicks. be rational. there are so many chapters of lessons to learn, and i am learning it still, until now. its fine to have a nose-dive. it is better to have a topple than have a pride tumble. the decision is in your hand, make the bright choice.

you may be a trash to someone but you are a pearl to someone. one man poison is another man medicine. don't make yourself like casting a pearl before swine. diamond for me is not more than a carbons in tetrahedral bonding, but for some people it is worth more than their lives. you will only be appreciated if someone valued you, for others, you are nothing. you can be Oxygen to someone, but carbon dioxide to another. why push yourself to someone that do not appreciate you? why not find someone know how to value and treasure you?

love-making is normal, it is a part of life.everyone will go through the steps, either take a long time to proceed to next or catalyst to accelerate. always remember to protect yourself. do not lets love blindfold your eyes. there is always a devil behind the veil of love. i know some used to label me as a philanderer, but i just want to express the truth. girls always at the lose side, bear that in mind. your eyes might blind, but you shall not deaf, and you must retain your senses, to rescue yourself out of the situation when you might be aggrieved.

we have left hand and right hand, normally everything comes in pairs, there is always a clear cut between right and wrong, boy and girl and so on. the dispute arises when they exist a gray. love, unfortunately, fall in this realm. there is never a right or wrong, totally out of any jurisdiction. it can only be judged by your own conscience, principles that you hold on, and the morality virtues that you prostrate. i worship rationality. love had became a fairy tale for me. i no longer believing in love. everything is just a business transaction. i get what i want from you and you get what you need from me. that is my personal principle, you like it or not, its up to you. take it or leave it, simple as ABC.

i cannot comment too much on others love affair, as i am not the guru in the field, and i don't believe there is any love master as well. as i mention before, i do believe money can buy everything, including love, except for life, unless you assassinate someone. i take it as fate, and my faith, i believe it will come and when it is the time, no matter what, you will still own him. i am not saying that you just sit there and do nothing, but at least if you like someone, then take some necessary actions, even if you fail, at least you tried. you will never know the result if you never give it a hand on it. proton will meet electron and form the neutron, eventually.

you must know when to let go and you must learn how to let go. i always say "forgive and forget", but in this case, i modified it to "forgo and forget". love is only part of life. there are still many wonderful things around. by the time you enjoying your sorrow, at the same time you are losing your precious time to relish the others. is it worth the price? only you can weigh and evaluate. times sip through while we are having fun or mourn, and it never return. forget about the unhappiness and try to seek for a better brand new tomorrow.

you are not the first one in human history and definitely you will not be the last one, unless man kind has come to extinction. happiness or sadness? which one to pick up for yourself? heartbreak over one and miss or let go the rest of the potential affairs? don't be a jerk, you know your math well. start doing your math and calculation now, everyone worth a value, and we need that value to survive, you want to choose just the one value in front of you now or choose the numbers from the pool of numbers to decide? the choice is always in our hand, so make the smart choice.

no one can provide the formula to you, you have to listen to the angels and devils at your right and your left, consider both the advices and critics. if one is over another one, then you should know what to do. take the necessary action. try to minimize the damages, no collateral damage should happen. there is not only one christmas tree, but a million of trees out there. if you are not satisfy with the one display at Tesco, then go to gurney then, or move on to other places. there must be one that suit your requirement. imperfection is always the ideal. perfectionist is always a no-deal. just keep the imperfect and admire the perfect, then you can savor your life peacefully.

all of the above nonsense are just my humble inferior two cents and thoughts. agree or disagree is absolutely up to you. i am not writing the entry to offense anyone or pinpointing anyone. the idea came from the movie that i caught up recently.

"what is love all about?". too many repugnance answers. love is heaven or hell? the outcome is definitely different if address to different category targets, e.g. age, religions, political background, education, family, environment and so on and so forth. so, just make your own decision and never look back once you decided it. no regret. if you can, make the opponent regret, but not yourself. make him / her realize that letting you go is his / her foolish mistake in his / her entire life. [note: this is merely a joke, don't take it seriously.]